So much to say, so little time

What kind of lunatic takes 3 classes when they’re trying to hold down a full time job, be active in church, and raise a two-year-old on 0% energy? Oh...wait...that would be ME! I was under the belief that I am SuperWoman. WRONG! My doctor was wondering how I even manage to work full time in the state I’m in, let alone all of the other stuff. I manage though. I just have to keep moving, because if I stop, I’ll just fall out. It’s hard to explain to people why I can’t do anything else. They think I’m just fine. They figure the cancer is gone, and I’m on medication, that I should be back to normal by now. But I’m not. I refuse to let this stupid invisible sickness get the better of me. I won’t let it stop me from living my life. BUT...(there’s always a but), I have to learn that I have no reason to be ashamed if I have to stop, or say no. It’s hard to explain how exhausting it is right now. It’s like I’m a rechargeable battery that only charges 25%. I’ve learned to make the most out of that 25%. I’m blessed to be sitting here whining about this right now. I know that I will never really feel “normal” again. I know that things will happen to my body that I will not expect, and can’t explain. But by the grace of God, I’ve been given 25%. I am lucky. I was worried that I wouldn’t be able to sing anymore, but after 10 months, my voice is coming back. I am so thankful to God that I made it through, and I’m doing this well. I’m grateful that I have the ability to smile, laugh, and hide the bad days. Some people only have bad days. Wow...I really strayed there didn’t I?? Oh well. Had to get that out. Anyway, school is kicking my butt, and at this point I’m just trying to pass. It kills me that I won’t be an A student this semester, but I’m considering it a lesson learned. I failed myself and dropped out of college 10 years ago, and I’m paying for it. I’ve gone this long without a degree, I’ll manage if it takes an extra semester or two to get one this round. Someday soon I will have my degree, find a nice job where I can work from home, make my own hours, and give my baby girl a better life. A girl can dream can’t she?